Aubrey is 6 months old! Whoa, time is going by super fast. I am having fun experiencing life with a GIRL!!! Last Sunday, Aubrey and I went to lunch and shopping with my mom, sisters, and niece. I love knowing that the two of us have a special mama/daughter bond. She is soooo different from her brother. Aubrey is a sweetheart. She really enjoys to lay her head on your shoulder and gaze lovingly into your eyes.
Lately I have been comptemplating the idea of piercing her ears. I have had my ears pierced since I was a baby. So it just seems normal for me to pierce my daughter's ears. I am torn on this decision.
I know some parents wait for their daughter to make the decision. This route is perfectly acceptable. Aubrey will maybe one day want her ears pierced. We could make a fun day of the experience. She would most likely be old enough to exhibit the feeling of being scared before the actual act was done. She would also most likely cry. She would hopefully have great memories of the day she got her ears pierced. Or awful memories depending on how bad she remembers the pain. Or she might never want them pierced -- or be 20 years old and not want her mama to come along.
The other option is to get Aubrey's ears pierced now, while she is still a baby/toddler. She would be young enough that she will not experience the feeling of fear before the trigger is pulled. She will still cry. And, she will not remember the whole experience.
If we discuss what I want to do, the answer is yes I want my daughter's ears pierced. Her little ears would look adorable with tiny studs in them. But this isn't about me and what I want.
I recently read a blog (that I cannot locate) about the deep regret a mother experienced after piercing her baby's ears. The author's stance was that the ears were not hers to pierce. I do see the authors point. I do, I really get it.
But I still want to pierce her ears, ugh decisions, decisions.
I also have thought about what effect piercing Aubrey's ears would have on her - long term. Does the act paint the idea that I didn't think she was "pretty enough", so I pierced her ears to make her look more beautiful?? I don't want her to ever think a thought like that. Will she HATE them and request them taken out, but always carry with her the scar left behind. Or will she enjoy her earrings and have fun matching outfits and bows to her jewlery.
Here is a thought....we are sitting at Ruby Tuesdays eating lunch. Your Mom and Meleah (and maybe your Dad) walk by. We knock on the window and they stop. We ask "what are you doing?" They say "Going to get Meleah's ears piereced!" Molly says "I want to go too!"
ReplyDeleteWe were waiting for her to decide when the time was right. The time was right when one of her lifetime friends was going....they share the memory! Your Mom and I share the memory of standing there and being quite nervous too!
Regarless you will make the right decision!
I peirced Addy's when she was 1 and dont regret it at all. Its a decision you have to make as her mother. Worst case, she grows up and doesnt want them peirced, take them out and let them close up or like Addy, loves to go to Justice and buy fancy earrings every chance she gets. I was afraid of her getting older and being to scared to get it done but that's just me. Good luck, you are a great mom either way!
ReplyDeleteI'm just a guy, so what do I know, but here's my thought for what it's worth. Kids yank on stuff. Twist it. Pull it. I've seen pictures of children that have done damage to their ears by either yanking out the studs or getting them caught on something and pulled out. That appears to cause more pain (for baby and mother) than a quick pierce a few years down the road.
ReplyDeleteWhat a timely post... Little Miss Suzy just got hers done on her birthday - she was 6. I had waited for her to say she wanted to get it done and after seeing a friend get it done on her 6th birthday Suzy was asking regularly. However, I did have one reservation... big girls with ears pierced don't suck their thumbs... I think I mentioned it once! She wanted it enough that she took her thumb out and we haven't looked back! She's loving being a 'big girl' and getting to remember to 'twist' them everyday. I'm hoping for Easter we can get her first pair of earrings after the studs.
ReplyDeleteAffton,
ReplyDeleteI was searching for my GF's blog and came across reading yours. Came to your blog entry about wanting your dd's ears pierced. Like you, I was like you, really wanting it done as you said, "...I want to do, the answer is yes I want my daughter's ears pierced. Her little ears would look adorable with tiny studs in them." I found myself saying the same thing, it is your mommy intuition telling your earlier is better and now is the best time.
I asked our ped who surprised me by encouraging me to have it done early when mommy could care for them. She gave some suggestions for moms having their dd's ears pierced since she had so moms ask her about it. They included topical meds to minimize any discomfort and how to find the right person and place to have it done. I don't know if you already had her ears pierced, but if you're worried about your mom, don't be. She'll love how she looks with sweet little earrings. Our ped said under 8 mos was best before they became more aware of their surroundings. At six months, she won't know they are there and won't play with them duringt the healing process.
I think you're a smart mommy for wanting it done now, so try not to worry about her wanting them done. All little girls want little pierced eaers, but often according to our ped, they fail to care for them properly and get infected.
Admittedly, I know a lot of people have strong feelings when to pierce a child's ear. "Let them decide" is being replaced by parental decision when mommy intuition knows, "earlier is better" from either personal or friend's experiences of unpleasant childhood ear piercing. I think it just depends on your own personal choice whether or not you wish your baby or little girl to have pierced ears. However, I think you've made the decision and just waiting for the right time. I was uncertain too and kept going back and forth. However, my ped had her dd's ears pierced at 4 months and when I found the right person, I was at ease and went ahead and was glad I did!
If you don't know how she'd look at any age, then hold up a pair of your studs to each ear and decide for yourself. Many moms including myself
like the look of earrings on babies and little girls for no specific reason, but like how light plays off a simple gold ball on a bald baby girl or small gold hoop poking through the hair of a toddler. Warning: she'll look adorable!
Cerebrally, as mothers of girls of all ages, we know it celebrates their femaleness and femininity. After all, they are little girls, right?
Growing up I remember many of my little girlfriends were not allowed to get their ears pierced. I could never understand it...but when their parents did finally let them, it always seemed they'd get infected because they were constantly touching them or trying to change out the earrings before they were supposed to. Many said it was painful, but all cried having a great deal of angst leading up to and including the actual ear piercing.
Just when is the best time to pierce your daughter's ears? It is when you are ready to care for them during the healing phase. They are very easy to care for. If you decide to do it as a newborn or infant, then I promise she'll thank you later!
If you or any other moms would like our ped's tips, then don't hesitate to write me an e-mail.
Angie
angietune@hotmail.com